Szukaj Pokaż menu

A Letter from the Power Company

6 157  
1   1  

Came with the post this morning...

Dear Electric Customer,

Just a little note to let you know we understand your anger in the recent price hike. But it should be noted that you have no choice. We are a big company and you will pay what we tell you. You have no choice. We have the power, you need the power. So sad, too bad. Sucks to be you. Below, we have  enclosed a little picture to help you understand our feelings about your numerous complaints.
 
Have a nice day and keep those checks coming, loser!

Your Local Power Company

Dewy Cheatom, President

And this was the picture:

Top Ten Gifts Your Husband Doesn't Want For Christmas

6 557  
1   3  
Send an e-cardOkay, ladies, here’s your turn. Listen up...

10. Anne of Avonlea/Anne of Green Gables Collectors Edition with 74 minutes
of extra footage

9. Any knick-knack

8. Tickets to the ballet

7. *Another* new tie

6. A Bath and Body Works Soap Basket

How to Tell if You're a Grinch

7 196  
2   1  
Well, here’s how - just answer frankly and add up your scores:

1. You reuse last year’s Christmas cards and send them out under your own name (5 points).

2. You steal light bulbs from your neighbor’s outdoor display to replenish your own supply (5 points, 10 if neighbor’s whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out).

3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points).

4. You put out last year’s stale candy canes for children (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.

5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale’s or other prestige box to impress your friends (5 points for each infraction).

6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.

7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party).

8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own (Southern California only, others ignore: 5 points -- nobody but Angelenos are dumb enough to dress a car).

9. After an invitation to a friend’s house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).

10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no (20 points).

Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100:
20 - 30
: You are just a cheeseball.
30 - 50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.
50 - 100: Grinch... move over!

2
Udostępnij na Facebooku
Następny
Przejdź do artykułu Top Ten Gifts Your Husband Doesn't Want For Christmas
Podobne artykuły
Przejdź do artykułu Polska to nie kraj, to stan umysłu – Kazik Staszewski pokazał mamę
Przejdź do artykułu Dlaczego na Jamajce zdarzają się wypadki motocyklowe?
Przejdź do artykułu 8 koszmarnych przeczuć, które niestety się sprawdziły
Przejdź do artykułu Po czym poznać, że jesteś PWZG, czyli...
Przejdź do artykułu 15 zawodów, które już nie istnieją
Przejdź do artykułu Dlaczego żołnierz poszedł na wojnę
Przejdź do artykułu Historia milionerki, która nie opuszczała pokoju hotelowego
Przejdź do artykułu Signs Your Spouse Is Sleeping With Santa
Przejdź do artykułu Dlaczego w tym roku nie będzie Mikołaja?

Dobra, dobra. Chwila. Chcesz sobie skomentować lub ocenić komentujących?

Zaloguj się lub zarejestruj jako nieustraszony bojownik walczący z powagą